Mourning

I was listening to the song "My Immortal" by Evanescence and although it's a really sad song, there are those that hear the song as a funeral dirge and I suppose in many ways it can be. Death isn't something related to just the physical; no- it can be in a relationship between lovers, parents and children, in a marriage, in a friendship, or even in a spiritual sense... in almost every essence of what is known "something living" there is also something known as THE END. I ask, "Who wants to face THE END?" Who is brave enough to look in to the unknown and shout, "I welcome THE END?" No one unless they're a fool. When the end of something comes, before there is a healing, before you can move on- you have a period where you question in heavy sadness why? This is called Mourning and when one mourns, the onlookers offer you their shoulder and feed you kind words like, "Everything will be ok" or "It's for the best". They're kind words, but at that moment, you don't want to hear that, you want the answer to your question, "Why?". Why did they die? Why is it over? Why did they leave me? What did I do? Am I a bad person? Do I deserve this?

The attempted answer will be offered by those who offer their kind words, but the truth is that the question has no real answer- it may never actually be answered by anyone physical. I believe strongly in God and I feel that he has many answers to many questions- I just have draw closer to Him to get what I ask for. Others may have another source to getting their answers, which is based on the situation presented before them; "They died", "They quit" or "They lied to you" or "It wasn't meant to happen" or my favorite "It will get better..." followed by a warm heartfelt promise. I choose to ask God why to my questions; but in this realm of physical matter, our questions goes unanswered. So... we're left with the kind words from family, friends, or even strangers to soothe our sorrow. In the time before healing can begin, in which we curse the feeling and question the reason- we are in mourning, wanting things to be the way they were, wanting a second chance, begging for the ability to go back in time and correct things. We are in mourning, and although we know things will be better in the future, as tomorrow is another day, we want things better RIGHT NOW- The Hell with Tomorrow! The loneliness creeps in, the sad realization that life will go on scares us- a loved one will find another, a death in tears will be fondly remembered in laughter, the friendship of one BFF may open up to a new BFF. The future isn't really sad, but right now- in the present, you grieve, you yell, you shout, you cry, you slump to bended knees, or tears soak your pillowcase at night and you want to know the answer to your question, "Why?"

There is no real answer for this happening right now. You must accept something that you are not in control of- fate. Fate has the answer, as your destiny may lie in this dreadful change you are undergoing. It will shape you, mold you, and strengthen you. It will teach you, change you as seasons change, and it will allow you to celebrate what may come your way. But for now, accept the grief, embrace the sadness, but be careful not to let it overwhelm you. Open yourself to emotions- whatever they are and feel no shame in expressing them. Relish in the past, where times were good and enjoy those memories. Savor the present, although its wrought with sadness, you are alive and this moment in time reminds you of that. Finally, welcome the future with no fear- as your destiny lies there- THE UNDISCOVERED COUNTRY! Unconquered land is what YOU will make of it. But know this: No one person can tell you how to feel in this period of mourning your life where it stands. Because it is different for everyone and every situation. Accept, embrace, open yourself up, and allow the mourning to come in.

By the way... it will get better- I promise.